Thursday, April 21, 2016
To Work or Not to Work...that was my question.
Time Management. Balance. So much easier when you aren’t tied to a job, right? The answer for myself at least was alarming.
As I prepare to go back to work today after a 7 month sabbatical I wanted to share my revelations about "greener grass"...
How did I have it so wrong? In my head I had imagined that those without jobs whose sole purpose was tied to raising kids and a family produced results in that category beyond that which were possible when you had commitments outside the home. I really had it so WRONG (or maybe just wrong for me). A guiding principal and law in life gave me a huge wake up call: A body in motion stays in motion and a body at rest stays at rest.
Ton. Of. Bricks.
Could this be true? Could it actually be MORE beneficial for my family that I have been working and forced to be hugely efficient with my time and energy? The reality is, aside from the home organizational projects that I would have done anyways even as a working professional, I can’t say my family has been better off. I participate in the school at the same level, I attend field trips whether I was working or not. It's STILL not natural for me to wake up early (thanks dad!). I admittedly even still have the same level of patience (or lack of at times) even though my stress level is supposed to be lower. I have learned that I self create To Do’s so my pace doesn’t change. When I am not working, however, I don't manage the time for them as efficiently. Wow. What a freeing discovery for me to make. This is why I wanted to share it with you. And it actually gets better… I don’t see that other mom’s who don’t work are any more ahead of me in their relationship with their children, in their management of digital photos, in respect to their marriages. I am not comparing, don’t get me wrong. Its the opposite in fact. I used to compare to my 'misfortune'. But now I feel cathartically released from those feelings. It doesn't matter which side of the fence you are on, but lets just free ourselves with GRACE wherever we are.
Its not all roses. I have enjoyed the bike rides, book reading, spa days, and lunch dates with friends. They have been fun. I haven’t seen a shift in my life as a result of doing them because frankly, I know that I will always make time for what is important to me. None of those things have to stop when I begin working again. It will be a miss in some respects to not be able to do them at a moments notice, but is that life changing? No. Its NORMAL. Again, I will always make time for what is important to me. OR, is it what I am making time for IS what is important to me. This will have me re-evaluate what I say are my priorities so that I can be truly intentional with my time going forward.
What I know for sure:
My family means everything to me.
Alone time makes me feel whole and balanced.
I need to give up control and be less reactive at home, but still facilitate bringing out the best in my children and husband.
I can work and mother well.
Eating healthy and exercising is important to me
Moderation is the key to life
God’s Instruction is available for me if I seek it- I Pray for God to seek me and my family always
I am confident that mothers across the spectrum of working, part time, free-lance, business owners, home based businesses, stay at home, etc share many of my truths. The amazing revelation I have been blessed by is that we can live our own truths in whichever circumstances you want to design in your life. But you have to distinguish them first. You must Know Thyself. Once you do, no external situation we find ourselves in can rock it, because we will have identified what we need to feel whole. When I make decisions inside of my truths, I live my purpose, whether at work, at home, at the gym, at church, or out with friends.
A special edition post is coming over the weekend that will outline the process I used to discover my purpose (a big part of what led to this Blog!) and is available for you if you would like some ideas on discerning yours.
I invite you to share your career decisions inside of this question, to work or not to work? What is your truth? Hint: There are NO wrong answers, and you will probably be encouraging others to stand up in theirs! Everyone wins with GRACE.